Hi from work. I'm getting a little bit bored...i have two hours left, and i've already taken a lunch break and two ciggarete brakes...how many more times can i leave the building? Well, today was an exceptionally bad day.
This morning, the guy i work with, Jason, didn't come in. He came in a few hours ago and said he wasnt feeling well this morning. Uh oh, i thought, did he through up? So i've been trying to avoid him all day...haha...its quite hilarious actually. I will email him asking him anything i would originally need to ask him in person. The one time he walked into the room, i sort of looked at him, and then quickly left. I hope he doesnt take it too personally!!! All i can say tho, is that i need to get some therapy for this Emet, its getting pretty fckin bad!
After work tonight, my friend leila is having a party so that shoud be fun. Hopefully i can go, i didnt find out about it until today tho, but whatever...it shoud be fun!
Gosh, what else...humm...well, My gf and i are no more. It makes me sad because i really liked this one...i opened up to her and i feel a little taken advantage of. I understand that she has some stuff to work out, but still! She could at least call me and say hello once in a while...
well i'm gonna go, try to stalk down some work. Peace.
Wow. last night. Started off having dinner with these crazy awsome old family friends (ps. dont mind the yawning...i'm tired and cat yawn and type at the same time). We went out for dinner at some mexican place with a big cactus infront of it. yum. Then, after all the food was eaten we adventurend out to tenlytown. WE met up with some of her fri (yawn) friends, and played on this crazy playground intended to kill little children. no really! there was like weird climby things and it even had a x chamber...hahha. um, (yawn) so then we went back to one of her friends houses and figured out the "game plan". After many drank "espresso" (OH GOD! did you know that exspresso isnt eXpresso...there is no "x"...WEIRD!) and (yawn) some of us got a little shaky.
I dont really remember what happend next...but i deff remember waking up in starbux and then going to an art galery. that or a smelling ally....who knows!!!
<3 <3 <3
Hey all- i dont have much to say, but i do still think things...i just dont know what to say. However, i did find a poem i wrote a long time ago..so enjoy.
(some may have already read this)
Speak to me
braim damage will occur no more
slip into the soft carress of silk as you stand strong
in newfound stilletos
Shoes that were no money at all, mere pennies
but fill you with the spark i once knew, the sparkle,
stronger then any emerold
it seems we are now dancing upon rainbows
jumping from the deep red to the soft voilet
crossing the eclipse of gold between each shade
speake to me
you can be any color you like;-)
Mother nature in all her glory; from the slight twinge of red in the leaves to the cool autumn breeze that caresses the branches before a rain. Here it is peaceful, here human and nature collide. I love sitting and watching the birds fly all around. Even though mere pigeons, they still seem to flock with the grace of a beautiful dancer. As they glide down from the sky, just inches away from hitting the cool pavement they recover and swoop back up into the midnight.
At the same time though, surrounding this beautiful, passive, and serene park is the city. Dark and cold to look at, and within all of it’s filth holds the s, the homeless, and the bum’s that make this city what it is today. With a glance down the moon lit avenue, there is a man being arrested, he is handcuffed, being pushed against the wet curb. Across in the other direction there is a liquor store. It is the only light on the whole block that is still lit and accepting customers. The only people outside the shop are two men, sitting arm in arm with a bottle of rum, drinking away the last of their pocket change out of a rumpled and torn paper bag. And when I glance even farther down this long, shady block, there is a stray dog. This dog is just sitting and staring blankly back at me, but his vacant eyes still seem to convey pain and fear.
But breaking through his icy stare are the stunning birds, their dance lighting up the musty sky. When he glimpses them, he seems to change, to become something other then a straggly, abandoned mutt. Now, the eyes seem kinder and more like they eyes that belonged to my puppy when I was a child. The men at the liquor store, I see them with a different light as well. As the paper bag of rum is placed in the trash, they are huddling to keep warm, and there is a strange beauty evoked from their nothingness. In this emptiness they still have each other, and it seems that in this moment, in this time that’s all that is important. And even the man with the handcuffs has a new beauty placed upon him. For as the sirens wail, and he is being driven deeper into the city he is calling to his kids; “sorry daddy couldn’t get you food tonight, I love you .Tell Mommy that I love her too”.
So as I continue to study these streets, the streets that are lighted by the reflection of a few working lampposts on the damp pavement, I realize how special beauty is. Yes, this park is a beautiful escape from the city around it. But at the same time I realize that the city has it’s own beauty and no matter how rundown or appalling it may look, there is always something deeper. There is always a man with the handcuffs, or a couple sitting at the liquor store, or even just a lonely dog, but the most important is by far the pigeons. Those beautiful gray birds who dance throughout the night.
YEY! Youth Pride Day (YPD) was great. The dance started out rough but ended up being a blast. I also danced with this gircat Keniffer who has been texting me nonstop since then. They are the cutest little messages like "shouldn't we be dancing?" haha. humm...she lives kinda far away though, and i dont know much about her. I figure i shoud wait till i talk to her more to get any ideas. haha. what the . she's cute. OOO and very birlish. She was wearin a white polo and jeans...
the first time i saw her i was like "god, why are the boys so cute tonight"..and then i was like "hehe.thas not a boy!"
so yeh, i will hopefully be able to update with a picture of her later. tata.