mshedwig (mshedwig) wrote,

summer's end

So summer is coming to an end...which means things are going to drastically change. I'm moving back to Boston which is very exciting, but also very scary. When I left Boston to come to dc for the summer I was leaving an important person behind. Now, i'm not sure how she's going to fit into my life. And i'm scared. I also have gone through so many gender changes this summer. I have felt like a girl for a good part of the summer, but had to present female even when i didn't want to, when i almost couldn't. This will all be changing again. I won't have
my parents breathing down my neck, telling me how a woman should dress and act...

I feel as though i am living two completely separate lives. There is my life in Boston, and my life in DC. Slowly i feel my life in Boston becoming more influential and a larger part of who I am. Again, i'm scared. DC is my home, it's shaped me and embraced me and helped me become the person I am today. But boston is slowly becoming my home now. I have my own address, my own mailbox, hell- even my own minuscule bedroom. The hard part for me is letting go of the things I have going well for me in DC and letting myself go to boston without any regret. This year will be very different from the last.

I hope I can find a real home within my apartment, and i hope I can build a real family of people with whom to share love and support.

10 days.
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